User blog:Mrs Chanandler Bong/NEW NEWS: BRIT Awards 2016 Edition!
Hi and welcome to NEW NEWS, I'm Mrs Chanandler Bong your host today on NEW NEWS!! The BRIT Awards 2016 have already had quite a lot of hiccups. First of all, Ant & Dec were stage-bombed by a model wearing nothing but thin black underwear and I swear Ant had a boner for the rest of the awards show (so far). Dec set off the smoke alarm by using a flamethrower and also hosted the show from the mens' room. The "beep guy" (as Ant & Dec called him) missed Adele swearing but muted the unoffensive words. You (bleep) a shit (bleep), beep guy. After the beep guy, the smoke alarm and Ant's boner, they said they're definitely not gonna host it anymore. Also Drake appeared in Rihanna's performance (which was terrible) and he looked exactly like he came out of the Hotline Bling video. Also NOBODY is laughing at Ant & Dec. Not the online community or even the audience or even the bald guy with the beard from Coldplay with the stupidly high voice for a 40-year old man. Justin Bieber lip-synced "Sorry" but nobody cares.. They're running out of nominations... half of these people are relatively unknown. Also f---ing Bjork won Best International Female? That's amazing. I love her new album and it's great. She was wearing a weird plastic bubble wrap thing on her head tho which was... weird. (*THEY FINALLY MENTIONED DAVID BOWIE AND ANNIE LENNOX GOT TO PRESENT IT I'VE ALREADY SAID STUFF ABOUT HIS DEATH SO I WON'T ELABORATE HERE*) As you know Ke$ha of all people has been sexually abused, and Adele publicly supported her in her speech so that's cool. Louis and Liam were the only 1D members there and whenever Louis was seen he was so disappointed in everything. Simon Le Bon, from one of my favourite bands Duran Duran, got to present an award but he hated doing it. He was staring at Adele like "stupid cow I should have gotten the award" This guy with a ginger beard distracted Dec for a while while presenting the awards. More models walked by, arousing Ant. There was a black nominee (kinda, Major Lazer was there) which is really cool, there's usually a lack of diversity. Amy Winehouse was nominated for a posthumous award for some reason even though she died ages ago and did hardly anything in 2015. Her Dad hated the idea... Lily Allen beefed with James Bay over his hat... this has nothing to do with the Brits but it's stupid. "Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow" It's even funnier when other people say it. "To my mother, my dog and clowns" ^ Catfish and the Bottlemen, some random band from Wales won an award... just kinda weird. Three killed as tornadoes hit US deep south... huh. Dec pretended to wear a little dress and his chest hair is gross. The Weeknd swore once and censored himself the other times. Mark Ronson f---ed up while announcing and was confused for the rest of the presentation. The audio was muted again. Adele won FOUR AWARDS and I have none. This is unfair, talented people shouldn't be allowed to get awards. Adele: "I'm really sorry for the ugly cry face" You should be Adele... you should be. Adele's singing out the show with a really good performance. Coldplay sang "I feel drunk AND high". That's not a joke. The winner of Album of the Year is... Adele. That was... that was... not a surprise. The BRITS are done. It was hilarious this year and let's see how Brits 2017 is. New News is done with its Brits updates. You can find results and stuff on news' sites. Kanye West didn't perform and get bleeped for about 95% of his performance again and Madonna didn't trip. Tune in to New News every Wednesday! Category:Blog posts